Not only are you exactly six months out on my insurance renewal cycle, but yellow just isn't my colour… 

Ah, knitting patterns of the 1970s: I found this "two in one" pattern for his'n'hers ponchos and an attractive beret and scarf combo amongst my Mum's old possessions. I don't think Mum and Dad ever wore matching ponchos. At least, I really, really hope they didn't. 

Spotted, to my mingled disbelief and amazement in my local supermarket: Hannah Montana tissues.For the fannish teenage girl… or the teenage boy in need of, uh, inspiration? 

You have no idea how depressed this makes me: Paint, for the fake coal in your fake fireplace.Such industry around the unashamedly inauthentic.