Wow. The UK Government just used the phone alert system to warn about the risk of wildfires.

#climatecrisis

A severe alert from the UK Government warns of a very high risk of wildfires and advises residents and visitors to avoid any activities that could cause fire, urging them to follow official updates and report fires immediately.

2026-08-14

Quick translation of the UK alert that just went out

Dear Morons,

Have you noticed the total lack of rain and the weeks and weeks of severe heat? Have you read about the wildfires? Or even seen a TikTok about them?

Some were started by morons like you with your disposable BBQ. Yes, like you, Tony, put it down and don’t light it. Yes, you. And please put a shirt on while you do it. Nobody needs to see that, mate.

The rest of you, just stop burning down our country because you think the rules of physics don’t apply to you as you’ve “done your own research”. The way combustion happens is not determined by loud but ignorant people on Facebook.

Thanks.

Yours sincerely,
The people who have to clean up after you.

2026-08-14